So for who and what is this blog for and who is writing this.
Hello, Im Louie. Thats it.
Just kidding, I'm the owner of this site and the writer behind all of this mess.
To make things interesting. I promise to myself that:
I will be a future CEO and founder of Fortune Global 500 Companies.
That plainly means I'm from an asylum Dont I? Lol.
Well that also clearly says a lot about my ambitions which is going to serve as the main foundation for this blog.
To give the blog a little background:
I made this a while back from June this year i guess. When it was summer break for elementary and high schools and i was staying on our apartment. Learning programming on my own. Because that time I feel like i was in a lot of trouble, well looking at myself now i still have many trouble only this time im much prepared and have some ground to hold onto.
Tho i only started writing here, just these past 4 months to either vent or had an idea or just talk about whatever in mind.
I continued writing here to document my journey hoping that someday ill look back and see how much ive grown, and for other people: to give them an idea of myself, and maybe just maybe that someday, when i finally made it, some people would learn how tough the things i went through though not saying its too rough, learn from my mistakes and what i learned navigating through uncertainty and unconventional paths that no one explored yet before.
To summarize that.
I'm writing this for:
- Myself to look back on.
- Others who are interested to know more about me.
- To attract other ambitious peeps - lets help each other reach our goals!
- People in the future who might learn valuable lessons from my experiences.
- Uhm two other people?
Ooooh what is that two other people youre talking about.
Ill get on that later.
Who Am I:
So whenever people ask me who i am. I often just describe myself as someone ambitious and on some occasion i would also say im emotional because i am.
I dont say, my current status on school, like im high school graduate, third year college or a former [job] at [company] whatever like people usually do.
Its funny because i dont really have any good credentials yet. I havent achieve something big or worth sharing with others so i just talk about what i think i am and wing it without presets.
I dont want to concern myself with introductions as it doesnt really matter for me. It just gives people a map of yourself.
And so heres mine: (its big)
I had an amazing childhood with many friends but we move from 3 different cities, lost many friends along the way after settling to our i dont know 6th apartment now? with my family.
From a young age like 14/15 ive been responsible on our household because both of my parents have to work to support our family. I take care of cleaning the flat, washing our clothes and dishes, raising two of my sisters with 2 year age gap.
With all of this responsibility and as a person who is constantly getting bullied at school on high school. I just dropped out.
I remember vividly how depressed i was and lonely those time were but the experience didnt stop me from standing back up.
So even intermittent i continued my high school until i was grade 11. I also went and finished ALS. That was honestly a good experience. The workload on your study there is very light and the materials man theyre just straight boring and rudimentary. But man youll meet some of the most chill learners there and without strict rules on attendance you basically got paradise when compared to normal or standard education system.
During the recent years of my life. I was actually drawn to the aforementioned: education.
I questioned its validity. I question why it exist, why am i have to go through this its so painful(because i got bullied), why am i doing this and all. Like it was an existential problem its funny.
Over time, I find that theres many great reasons why school exist. It really wasnt aimed for anything negative likewise how im able to experience learning with my peers.
So i do support it.
But going to school now, on my situation and how left out i was in my academics. I dont think i could go back to being traditional.
But hey i remember someone ask me what degree i could pursue when i finished senior high, its funny hes the only one who asked me, maybe hes my soul mate? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just kidding.
Well, i couldve chosen, mechanical engineering/computer science or architecture to be honest. Its more defined than how i told vynce about it. But really its since the beginning of my curiosity that i like to study how things work, especially electronics, robots,buildings,cars and stuff but also everything that explains the world and beyond to me is intriguing from the smallest particle to the universe.
Though practically, Im tugged in-between wanting to learn and trying to make living comfortable as well, since i didnt have much growing up, so i am intrigued and currently focusing in matters like business and economics. But many of that stuff can be learned online so... Like you dont even need a college degree to start a business and i knew it even before i dropped out, that one is even one of my reason why i had confidently made a decision to drop out of high school.
But anyways, living out as someone who didnt go to college. I didnt have the credibility to practice the stuff thats needed to get professional with jobs that aligns with the courses that i mentioned.
So Im winging it.
Had jobs before that are out of my interests.
I even tried business before i had a job. And this is quite monumental for me.
And one of the lesson i might further discuss on my blog post not in my intro as on its own deserves a reverence.
I failed, learned so much, did stuff i didnt know, explored many places and talked to esteemed people because of it.
Yet after everything i would say:
What drives me through all of my struggles is my ambitions. Its one of my strongest suit. Without it i couldnt survive... thats an exaggeration but i would feel lifeless without it. There would be no waiting, nothing to look forward, i wont have a journey. My world would feel robotic and i would feel like i would just do as what i am commanded by other people.
I didnt like emotionless, uninspired, ambition-less people, ignorance and extreme uncertainty.
Speaking of people that i dont like and stuff. I should mention people that do inspire me.
So throughout this blog you may come across the name vynce in fact i mention him before i even introduce him here.
I met him on slowly. An app that lets you connect with people by sending letters and crafting open letter or reading open letters where people introduce themselves or talk about random things. The app is meant for slow conversations thats why its a letter and not chats/sms you usually receive from every platform.
The good feeling i had reading his letters feels everlasting.
I mustve described him over and over and my feelings for him everywhere in this blog so no need to elaborate.
Another person who i might like is a neighbor.
Tho dont assume its anyone you know. I had lots of different neighbors.
The feelings i have for this person is inconclusive but mostly theyre strongly leaning towards negative.
Maybe thats why he still leaves a remarkable mark on me. Its one of the reason i was so inclused. The person is very jealous but still manage to acknowledge the boundaries.
I respect him so much though. Without him i would have made stupid decisions. He taught me to keep my eyes sharp(and be very indecisive).
Hes the first person who openly likes me through everyone eyes and i wouldnt be able to forget this person as well(regrettably).
So there you know the context of the people i might occasionally refer on this blog.
If I would describe how those people feel: in music. These playlists suffice.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6S913d2SQFlqpLOqDhally?si=ms2KBuXYRG6icUwdFb-SPw
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/22YkDN8YqqmVbT6iTKkvSs?si=SfLaZVuUQyWzmabIVy-ZDA
Last Notes:
For the projects and startups that i did or currently working on - some of them might be here. But for most i would keep it a secret for now and i wont put more details than what i had already. I also have many unpublished entries here theyre much more sensitive than whats in here so they are unpublished.
Someday when storms calmed. I would put things back when i see fit or it can help someone or myself.
For anyone wondering how to connect with me im always at my email.
ljay75116@gmail.com
P.S.There would be times i may look back here and re edit.